Should I go on haitus? I feel like going MIA. :\ I'm so numb by the pain.

So.. this love got ditched yeah. It's about faith, that's what you're telling me. It's about this fucking stupid test we have to go through, that was what I told you. I hate this. I swear they're laughing hard in their hearts now. I wonder how did I even play that pretence game tday. Fake fronts, lying to almost everyone about what's going on. Pretend like I don't care, like it doesn't hurt at all. I don't know what the fuck was I doing at school today. What's the fucking whole purpose of attending school today? I tried my bestest to concentrate but my mind just kept thinking about you. Yeah, you feel the pain, you cry, you feel hurt, you cry. I'm feeling it twice 'cos I'm still hanging on, don't know what's my next big step. Let it go, start life all over again? Keep waiting like some fucking loser & get no reply? Cry, silt & have suicide thoughts everyday when you don't even care? Yknow if I ever have to choose, I will never fall in love. I will never. I'm not saying now but ages ago when I start falling for Benjamin(this cute guy in my class), I'd tell myself it's wrong & I'll try hard to get out of it.

Do you understand what I'm going through?

I tried all ways to make myself not think about you. I threw away the anniversary letter, I told myself don't bother about Saturday, I kept the ring in the memorybox. But there's so much more that still reminds me of you. The walk home, the void deck, everything. I can't forget your back when I walked towards you at my house void deck when we first met. Now it hurts, badly.

I still wish I could have you back. Be reminded that I'm willing to make all sorts of sacrifices just to be with you. I know these are just words but I'm true, true about them. I'm sorry if I make you hurt, make you cry. For the past three precious months with you, I sure did learn something.

I love you, always have & always will..